We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”
I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.
Let our scars fall in love.”
e v e r y t h i n g.
a n d
n o t h i n g .
I am so sorry I have been neglecting my baby… my blog.
But you see, I moved!!!
Yip, I’m in a new home, that I can really call “MY HOME!” and it’s the most amazing feeling ever, she’s little, and cute but packed with dynamite (like me!)
I moved to Sea Point, which is a change from Gardens (which I loved.) But it just become too congested for me. From the constant street kids begging from me everyday, or trying to steal my shit. To the wind (which I hate with a passion.) So yes, I’m in love with my ocean view, and waking up to summer every morning.
Ofcorse my baby blog has taken a back seat because I now have put my focus in turning my house into a home. Annnnd I don’t have internet service, so I have to do stuff at internet cafe’s or wifi hot spots (hustler fo’ life yo!)
Anyway, this is just a little sorry, but hey at least I’m happy right?
Sometimes i’ll have a bad day (like today.) but there are moments when i have to stop! And remember not all people are bad (even though it would be easy to hate the world.) And there are many magical splendid things… Like the beautiful crescent moon i’m looking at while sitting at my desk, and the stars, and knowing that summer is almost here…
they can be tender… they can be tough.
(Alexa Chung: my ultimate tomboy queen!)
I’m not sexy!
I’m a tomboy, who also likes to wear dresses & make-up.
I’ve made my peace with the fact that I’m not a vixen. I don’t have curves, boobs, hips and a bum. I wish I did (but I dont.) And you know what? that’s okay! I’m human, just like you. There are moments I wish I could change things about myself. When I wish I wasn’t tall, or my hair colour was different.
The one thing I can proudly say is: “I have never changed my appearance for a guy.” I’ve dated all types of guys with different professions, interests & ethnic backgrounds.
With each of these guys I made it very clear who I am. I’m a mixed bag of multi races, I love wearing make-up, I’m never gonna be the girl next door. But if you respect me, and treat me good, I can assure you that I will love you with my whole heart. And that’s all that matters! I hope, I never loose this sense of self worth and assurance I have in any future relationships.
A few months ago (well quite a while ago, it was march.) I randomly said to my sister Meryl: “I hope that the man I choose to settle with loves me for me. Loves me without make-up & with crazy red lips and smoky eyes that I love so much. I hope he loves me when my hair is short, or long, frizzy or straight. And if I ever wanted to shave it all off, that would be fine too! I hope that he’s proud of me. Finds me beautiful. For who I am, flaws & all.”
Those are the small, actually big things that are important to me, in order for me to be me.
If I ever change it must be for the good of myself. It must not harm my body, my heart, or change who I truly am.
When you’ve been hurt before, you learn to guard your heart from hurt and future heartbreak. It’s just finding the common ground. That person worth opening up to, showing them you. And they’ll see you through all the clothes, make-up, hair. All the smoke & mirrors.
I met him once, I was scared once. I’m not as scared as I was before. I’ve learnt alot in a year. It just depends, it depends on whether or not he still cares. My heart wishes he does, my head says he’s moved on…
With or without a boy and his approval. I am happy with who I am.
my love affair with the stars…