(Alexa Chung: my ultimate tomboy queen!)
I’m not sexy!
I’m a tomboy, who also likes to wear dresses & make-up.
I’ve made my peace with the fact that I’m not a vixen. I don’t have curves, boobs, hips and a bum. I wish I did (but I dont.) And you know what? that’s okay! I’m human, just like you. There are moments I wish I could change things about myself. When I wish I wasn’t tall, or my hair colour was different.
The one thing I can proudly say is: “I have never changed my appearance for a guy.” I’ve dated all types of guys with different professions, interests & ethnic backgrounds.
With each of these guys I made it very clear who I am. I’m a mixed bag of multi races, I love wearing make-up, I’m never gonna be the girl next door. But if you respect me, and treat me good, I can assure you that I will love you with my whole heart. And that’s all that matters! I hope, I never loose this sense of self worth and assurance I have in any future relationships.
A few months ago (well quite a while ago, it was march.) I randomly said to my sister Meryl: “I hope that the man I choose to settle with loves me for me. Loves me without make-up & with crazy red lips and smoky eyes that I love so much. I hope he loves me when my hair is short, or long, frizzy or straight. And if I ever wanted to shave it all off, that would be fine too! I hope that he’s proud of me. Finds me beautiful. For who I am, flaws & all.”
Those are the small, actually big things that are important to me, in order for me to be me.
If I ever change it must be for the good of myself. It must not harm my body, my heart, or change who I truly am.
When you’ve been hurt before, you learn to guard your heart from hurt and future heartbreak. It’s just finding the common ground. That person worth opening up to, showing them you. And they’ll see you through all the clothes, make-up, hair. All the smoke & mirrors.
I met him once, I was scared once. I’m not as scared as I was before. I’ve learnt alot in a year. It just depends, it depends on whether or not he still cares. My heart wishes he does, my head says he’s moved on…
With or without a boy and his approval. I am happy with who I am.
Lx
